The blesser-blessee relationship : a pastoral challenge

Abstract

For many young women, life can be an overwhelming, stressful and challenging experience. The increase in the cost of living and high costs of education places a huge financial burden on the parents of these young women especially those who are financially insecure and who have unfortunately not been awarded bursaries or student loans. Many have to find means of income in order to fund their studies and/or eke out a living. Older men who are wealthy have been found to take advantage of these realities and they seek out young women who are struggling financially and “bless” them by providing for their financial needs. Some older men even go beyond these offerings and lavish the young women with other luxury items. Young women see these men as caring and loving and also as a practical escape from financial burdens they face. The older men, called “blessers’”, seek return on their blessings and this is often in the form of sexual favours. The young women are expected to satisfy the sexual desires of their blessers, often at great personal cost and endless sacrifices. This exposes young women to sexual exploitation and abuse. This research seeks to gain a better understanding of the phenomenon and why women engage in these relationships and why some remain in these relationships. It also seeks to create awareness of the dangers of these relationships within the context of the church and to empower young women with a healthy sense of selfworth and value in order to make safer and informed life decisions and to pastorally care for those who have experienced trauma. As a result of the understanding gained through narrative approach, the researcher seeks to begin the process of developing a pastoral care and healing methodology/intervention method.